Grief and Loss
Kim* is a married woman in her late 40s and her children are almost grown. She has invested her whole life in these kids and sadly watched as they have gone astray, helpless to change their course.
She wonders all the time where she messed up or why God is punishing her. Didn’t she do everything right? She beats herself up with all the thoughts of what she must have done wrong… and still be doing wrong. Otherwise, why would they turn to drugs, steal from her, and generally just go wild?!
From the outside, she looks as though she has it all together: a career, a husband, and a beautiful family. And since no one really gets it – her pain – she feels so alone in all of it.
She is grieving the loss of her children – the dream of her life… and there’s no sympathy card for that.
She can’t stop comparing her life to other people; and every memory, good or bad, just hurts. She feels like a failure through and through, and the stress is overwhelming.
What is she supposed to do? Where can she turn for her grief, loss, and pain?
You can turn to me. I’m here to help.
Loss comes in so many ways.
Death, emotional and physical separation, custody/adoption/birth parent loss, divorce, miscarriage, infertility, and physical and mental illnesses all take away loved ones and dreams of the future. What we thought would be, isn’t.
Sadness, loneliness, rejection, unworthiness, guilt, regret, resentment, anger, despair… can describe the rollercoaster of feelings and thoughts on any given day.
Stuffing them down only works for so long; and they come rushing out in harsh words, tears, isolation, and even thoughts of dying.
I’m here to help parents grieve through the loss of children… and teens and adults grieving the loss of a parent, partner, sibling or friend, no matter whether it was last week or 40 years ago.
Grief doesn’t follow any rules or timeline.
Chronic illness and pain also hold loss and may be worsened or intensified by overwhelming emotions and stress, creating a vicious cycle.
A safe place to question, rage, and cry…
Talking to friends and family helps for a time… but they don’t understand, and they grow weary.
Move on with your life. Find a hobby. They wouldn’t want you to suffer. Date again. Life goes on.
All the platitudes don’t help. Doesn’t anyone understand? Or really care that you’re hurting?
It hurts so much, and you need a place to let it all out, to cry and blame and feel all the pain that’s bottled up inside, and let it go on your time.
You want to scream sometimes – like you’re just going to boil over, and you can’t take it anymore. It’s impossible to imagine it will ever be different.
This is your space, your place, to let it all out and to remember, too. It’s warm and welcoming. I share in the story with you, letting your tears flow and sharing in your memories. I’ll help you through the stuck places, where the darkness threatens to take over, and be your guide as you discover hope and fully living again.
This is your place for creating connection in your heart, peace in your soul, and joy in your life.
This will be our guiding light out of the darkness…
A heart-to-heart connection and a special therapy called Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) will bring you out of the darkness and into hope.
EMDR provides a way to strengthen your internal resources – resilience, hope, love – through alternating tapping or side-to-side eye movements. Stimulating your brain in this way, in slow gentle touch or eye movements, develops positive neural networks. The healing isn’t just in words, but in the way your mind works. Combined with the tools you learn, it enables you to begin managing your emotions and feel more in control. Resourcing and mindfulness also work to enhance the brain/body connection for further healing of parts of your brain that feel foggy, disconnected, and offline.
Similarly, EMDR processing, with the same side-to-side tapping or eye movements, helps your brain recall information, work through it, and desensitize it – be able to tolerate memories and thoughts without the same level of distress. Then, it can store information in a new way, clearing negative beliefs and building positive networks of information, with new, more adaptive beliefs.
For example, through our work in EMDR, thoughts of “it’s my fault” become “I did the best I could.” The new thoughts aren’t just surface words without depth that you use to try to convince yourself, but rather they become deeply rooted, real beliefs that are your new truth.
You’re not alone…
My heart aches for you and the pain that you endure. I also know your strength, to still be standing, to come this far to look for help. I see you.
If you even wonder, just a little, if having a therapist could help, let’s talk. I’m ready to take the next steps with you. Two can carry the weight better than one.
Call me today at (404) 994-1034. If I’m with clients and can’t answer, please leave me a message so that I don’t miss out on talking with you.
I’ll call back within 24 hours or message you back, if that’s your preferred method; and we’ll have a short phone conversation to begin to get to know each other.
There’s no obligation, and I’ll answer any questions that you have. I sincerely look forward to hearing from you.
*Name changed to preserve client confidentiality.